Just to try to keep up my desire to blog for real, I am going to post about my decision and feelings about our flu shots.

I have had several people ask me if we were getting the shots and why. So, I thought I’d write them down. But I want people to know I think this is a personal decision and I completely respect everyone’s direction they go with for themselves and their families.

The kids and I all got our H1N1 shots last week. I couldn’t drive fast enough, in sleet, to get to the place I heard was offering them in KC. I decided to get them for the following reasons:

1. For the selfish reason that I don’t want to freak out every time I forget to wash the kids hands before they eat or play with a friend who has a fever an hour after our play date. I can drive myself crazy before the holidays or during an outbreak with stuff like that.

2. As a pregnant person with other health concerns I didn’t want to put myself and the baby at an unneeded risk, plus I’ve heard that it can help the baby’s immune system too and since I probably can’t breastfeed, I want to give it the best immune system that I can. Although people have been fearful that this shot was manufactured fast, I haven’t heard any reason this flu shot is any more dangerous than the yearly shot. But most importantly, I learned while trying to get pregnant and then going through my pregnancy with Eliza while on arthritis medication, that you have to weigh the risks vs. benefits sometimes and then just go with the decision and not feel guilty about the “what ifs.”

3. I think we have the most effective vaccination system the world has ever known and our generation has never lived through a “plague” or dealt with anything close to polio or wide spread measles so we’ve lost touch with how devastating that could be. Our kids don’t even have to get the chicken pox any more. It’s easy with all of our conveniences and up to date medicine to get out of touch with the reality that for every shot my child takes, thousands, if not millions of children have died from that disease before.

Now, this is NOT to get into the debate about autism or vacinations related to that argument. I have strong emotions for many people involved in that debate and I do not want to touch on that on our blog.

I just have had several people ask me if we were getting the shots and why. So, I thought I’d write them down.

**For the record, that is the LAST time I am going to be able to fool Jadon into getting a shot by simply not saying the word “shot” until his pants start coming down. My boy WILL NOT be fooled again. But a sucker bribe, that may still at least soothe the wounds.**

What have you decided?

“He is your constant source of stability. He abundantly provides safety and great wisdom. He does all this for those who fear Him.” New English Translation

I haven’t shared my heart lately. Well, since moving to Kansas really. I haven’t shared my heart because of my lack of stability. My feet feel like they haven’t stood on solid enough ground long enough to type out where my heart is, long enough for me to think about it honestly.

You know how they don’t recommend doing more than one major life change in one year. Things like moving, starting a new job, having a baby, etc. . . we decided to do all three of those in the past 4 months! Add on top of that the economy which caused more ciaos in selling our home, moving in with family- twice. Now we are in my sister’s basement with a toddler and a new born. Not where I pictured myself at 32.

Last week I read on Bekah’s blog the verse that God led her to find peace and stability in her own life. It hit me hard, in a good spot, in my heart. I don’t think I’ve allowed God to hit me in the heart like that since we decided to move from Atlanta.

I’ve been trying to reflect on the verse. God is good. He’s telling me that He is the only place I’ll ever find stability. Every other place I look is shifting, moving, always changing. If I don’t find stability in Him I will always be living for a few months from now, the next big thing (like a baby or a house), our next major life change (whatever else there is!).

The place I am at right now is easy to check out from. I want to just survive from one feeding to the next, from one pile of laundry to the next pile of toys, from one decent day to walk outside to the next snow day. When I do that, I barely find any joy in anything. I struggle with wanting to love the people in my daily life, let alone loving and serving the rest of the world. God is calling me to something deeper. You’d think He would have asked me to be present when we were in our beautiful house, when the weather was usually warm, when we were settled in a church home with people we were growing with. I am sure he was asking me to be more present then, but now I am ready to be challenged. I am ready to be humbled (hopefully ready to be humbled enough). I am ready to allow Him to be my stability.

Praise the King!